


Joyriding

by guitarriffs (orphan_account)



Series: NonBinary!Cas 'Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asexual Castiel, Family Drama, Fluff, High School AU, Jock Dean, Non-Binary Castiel, Other, some sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:53:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4152555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/guitarriffs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie follows Dean's pointed stare to Meg and Cas talking in the front corner by the windows. Something reminiscent of a teasing smile hints her lips and she smirks at Dean. "Jesus, it hasn't even been a whole week and you're jealous. And of Meg Masters."</p><p>"I'm not jealous," Dean retorts defensively and drums his fingers on the wood of his desk. "I just never knew they were friends."</p><p>"You didn't even know of Castiel Novak's existence before whatever epiphany you had two weeks ago. Meg's completely harmless. They've been close for an extremely long time and pretty much all they do is smoke cigarettes by the bleachers on the football field after school."</p><p>"Cas smokes?"</p><p>Charlie frowns a little at his tone. "Look, you're going to have to talk to Cas about that. They don't burn through, like, six packs a day, and yeah smoking is still pretty disgusting but before you pounce on them for it you've got to take into account that they're a sixteen-year-old nonbinary teenager living on their own. Castiel may put up an impressive façade, but they are not okay."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Joyriding

_'Yeah, it's cool, I'll be okay,' as I felt your pain wash over me. So I dry your eyes and hide my shakes. I hate the look that's on your face. - frnkiero andthe cellabration_

* * *

 

 

"You and Cas were  _so_ cute at Homecoming!"

The voice rings throughout the nearly-empty hallway and Dean Winchester cringes as he realizes who it is. He likes Becky Rosen- honestly, he does, but sometimes he just can't take her loud and enthusiastic personality.  _Especially_ at eight in the morning on a Monday. He pretends he doesn't hear her and digs deeper into his locker for an unknown  _something_ that he can use for an excuse to not talk to her.

Becky pads down the hallway, quick as can be, and is standing beside Dean before he even has the chance to close his locker. He sighs heavily and turns toward her, plastering on a smile to cover how tired and  _annoyed_ he is.

"Thank you, Becky," he says dryly and reaches into his locker to pull out his notebooks for his first couple of periods. He expects that to be the end of the conversation, but she's still there, an excited grin on her face. That's when Dean notices the strapped red Canon camera clutched in her fists and realizes _exactly_ what she wants. At Lawrence High School, though seniors usually dominate the yearbook, juniors are given a place in them too because some tenth graders finish all of their necessary credits and graduate by the end of the year.

So of _course_ Becky's on the Yearbook Committee.

"So, I was wondering if I could get a snap of the two of you together," she says, holding her camera at eye-height and pretending to take a picture. "If it's no bother."

Dean looks around the just-about-empty hallway pointedly. "Well, they're not here now. But, uh, I'll be sure to tell Cas about it later."

"Oh my god,  _thank you!_ I've got to earn my club credits somehow, right? I'll also be covering some of the sports games, so I'll be _sure_ to see you around."  


Dean smiles after Becky, watching her leave but once she turns the corner, the smile drops and he shuts his locker. He was up all night last night and barely got a blink of sleep. Surprisingly, his mother allowed him to spend the night at Cas' (only because his dad was on duty and he had to assure her that his and Cas' relationship would never be sexual in _any_ way) and the two of them alternated between watching Orange Is The New Black and studying for Dean's AP Chemistry test. It was pretty awesome spending time together and Dean hardly minded waking up on the couch with Cas' feet in his face.

But now the intensity of the drowsiness is hitting him and he's _really fucking crabby_.

He stops by the vending machine on his way to his first period class and buys a bottle of water with the idea that hydration will somehow energize him. Not only does he have eight hours of classes to get through, but football tryouts are today and even though he's been on the team since Freshman year, he's got to re-earn his spot.

The bell rang about ten minutes ago, yet Dean still runs into Charlie on his way to the classroom. They've got Government together but Charlie is  _never_ late. She looks just as tired and shitty as he does.

"'Sup," she greets with a yawn, falling into step with him. She's gripping a steaming cup of coffee, but it doesn't seem to be doing much for her. Dean sends her a small smile.

"Hey," he replies, reaching over to run his fingers through her hair in an attempt to flatten the matted mess. "You look awful."

Charlie snorts and takes a sip from the paper mug, swatting Dean's hand away. "Gilda and I got into another fight."

Dean's eyebrows shoot up. Gilda Dupont is Charlie's...well, Charlie's  _something._ They've known each other since ninth grade and have had this odd sort of on-again, off-again relationship. Both Dean and Benny have been trying to knock some sense into both of them because  _everyone_ knows that there's no reason for them to fight as much as they do, yet they continue to get on each other's nerves eighty percent of the time.

Dean and Benny are  _always_ there for the fallout.

So yeah, Dean should have known that Gilda was the reason behind the dark bags under Charlie's eyes, but he didn't even know they'd been communicating again. Last time he heard, after another one of their infamous arguments this summer, they cut things off. For _real_. Honestly, Dean loves Gilda and thinks that she and Charlie would be great together if the two of them would just get over themselves and admit their strong feelings for each other.

"What in the _hell_ happened this time?" He asks with a frown.

"You know, same old stuff. We talked after Homecoming, decided to get back together. Of course, that decision lasted a whole forty-eight hours before I find out that she had only  _just_ broken up with an ex-girlfriend!"

Dean creases his brow. "You think you're her rebound?"

"Of-fucking-course I was her rebound. She got really pissed off when I brought it up and we stayed up until four in the morning yelling at each other over the phone."

Dean finds the idea that Gilda saw Charlie as her rebound preposterous - anyone with eyes would see that nobody looks at a rebound the way they look at each other, but it's no use arguing. "I just want you to be _happy_ , Charls. If Gilda doesn't make you happy, stop giving her the time of day."

Charlie just presses her lips together and drinks some more of her coffee. "So what's the news with you and Cas?"

"Nothing much." Dean shrugs. "They know a hell of a lot about the Periodic Table of Elements."

Charlie chuckles at that and they round a corner. "Oh yeah, Cas is such a _nerd_. They know the Periodic Table like the back of their hand."

Dean grins, remembering how Cas had sat on the arm of the sofa, drinking from a can of Red Bull and reciting the names of all one hundred eighteen elements. Dean had watched on in interest, not because he actually thought he'd ever remember all of the elements for his test today, but because it was irrationally fascinating and pleasing to watch them shut their eyes and count off each element with a snap of their fingers, the most  _endearing_ grin spreading across their face whenever they succeeded in remembering one of the particularly difficult ones such as praseodymium or roentgenium. All Dean had wanted to do was take their face in his hands and work his way into their mouth, tasting and feeling their lips under his own. And he  _did,_ of course, much to Cas' shallow protests.

"Yeah, I told my Mom that they're ace and she let me stay over," he says and Charlie hits him in the shoulder.

"God, that's so  _awesome_. You two being all _domestic_ and stuff. I should've seen how perfect you two would be together sooner."

They then enter the government classroom, earning a glare from the teacher that clearly reads  _Why are you so late_? After signing the late book, they enter quietly and go to sit in their respective seats in the back of the classroom.

The first several periods move by slowly. Dean has chemistry the class before British Literature and, after taking the test, he finds that it was too easy for him to have actually done well. He fucked up somewhere, but all anxiety over the exam disappears as he sees Cas leaning against the wall outside Brit Lit, thumbing through the pages of a book and being completely oblivious to the world around them. They look up as Dean approaches though, and Dean's eyebrow cocks in surprise as he realizes that Cas is wearing  _eyeglasses._

"Hey boyfriend," Cas says with a genuine smile, their arms raising to lock around Dean's neck. Dean's hands find their way to Cas' waist.

"Hey enbyfriend."

Cas chuckles, making Dean's cheeks heat up. "You've  _never_ used that before."

"Did I pronounce it wrong? Shit, I'm sorry, I just looked it up this morning because I didn't kno-"

" _Shh_." Cas runs the fingers of their free hand along the nape of his neck. "It's cute, I was just teasing. I like that you care."

Dean bends down to kiss him, and though their lips only shallowly brush against each other, the touch makes his mouth tingle. Suddenly, he's no longer cranky.

"How was your test?" They ask, pulling back and dropping their arms from Dean's neck. 

"It was okay. I wish you were there to take it for me."

Cas laughs aloud, a sweet and joyful sound that only makes Dean smile wider. "Trust me, you did  _fine._ You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for."

Dean doesn't really know how to reply to that, and he doesn't have to because at that moment, Mrs. Missouri sticks her head out of the classroom door and gives them both a suspicious look.

"The bell's about to ring. Time to get inside. Now."

She disappears back into the room and Dean steps away from Cas so the two of them could walk inside together. They pass through the entrance just as the late bell rings and Mrs. Missouri shuts the door behind them. Charlie and Benny are already in the back, and Cas and Dean go to sit in their seats.

Mrs. Missouri keeps her sight trained on Benny and Dean as she clears her throat to start the class. "We're halfway through the first month of the year, so I feel like it's time to implement this class' system of partners. With your partner, you will do most, if not everything with. You will read at the same pace, build on each others' writing style, complete group projects together. I  _will_ allow you to select your own partners, but when I come around to record names and I find that two people will  _not_ be a productive match for each other, I will be inclined to split you up."

Her constant, steady gaze on Benny and Dean clearly warns the two of them to not dare to think about partnering up and Dean exhales deeply. He and Benny usually pair up for school work, and even though the levels of procrastination tend to soar, it's nice working with a friend.

As everyone stands and shuffles to find someone, Charlie nudges Dean with her shoulder. "Will you do me the honor of being my partner in life and this fourth period British Literature class?" She says exuberantly and Dean snorts.

"Will you be doing all of the work for me?"

"Hell no, but you  _can_ expect to be ten times more studious by the end of the year."

Dean wrinkles his nose at that and Charlie laughs as she scoots her desk over.

Everyone finds a partner in ten minutes and Mrs. Missouri walks down the rows to pair up names. Cas, who is no longer sitting in front of Dean, is paired up with Meg Masters.

Dean's known Meg since elementary school, and he doesn't think that there's ever been an instance where he's enjoyed her presence. She's insufferable and rude, and uses sarcasm as if it's a different language. So, he's reasonably shocked that not only are Castiel and Meg sitting together, but they seem completely comfortable together, as if they've been friends for a while.

"Hey." Dean leans over to whisper to Charlie just as Mrs. Missouri passes them. She looks up from her copy of Macbeth (apparently, she hadn't done the reading this weekend) and raises her eyebrows in a prompt for Dean to continue. "Do you know what's up with them?"

Charlie follows Dean's pointed stare to Meg and Cas talking in the front corner by the windows. Something reminiscent of a teasing smile hints her lips and she smirks at Dean. "Jesus, it hasn't even been a whole weekand you're _jealous_. And of _Meg Masters_."

"I'm not jealous," Dean retorts defensively and drums his fingers on the wood of his desk. "I just never knew they were friends."

"You didn't even know of Castiel Novak's  _existence_ before whatever epiphany you had two weeks ago. Meg's completely harmless. They've been close for an extremely long time and pretty much all they do is smoke cigarettes by the bleachers on the football field after school."

"Cas  _smokes?"_

Charlie frowns a little at his tone. "Look, you're going to have to talk to Cas about that. They don't burn through, like, six packs a day, and yeah smoking is still pretty disgusting but before you pounce on them for it you've got to take into account that they're a sixteen-year-old nonbinary teenager living on their _own_. Castiel may put up an impressive façade, but they are  _not_ okay."

Dean blinks at her and she gives him a slanted look before turning her attention back to the play. He steals another glance in Cas' direction and watches as they say something to make Meg laugh, loud and proud. He sighs and rubs his eyes, the tired, sluggish feeling from earlier returning.

* * *

After school, Dean finds himself in the first floor locker room, changing into black cleats, sports shorts, and grey shirt for football tryouts. He recognizes some of the guys from the team last year, but there are some fairly new ones. For example: a wiry kid named Garth Fitzgerald who shares a study hall period with him. Dean's surprised that he's trying out- Garth doesn't seem like the sport kind, but to each their own. He tries to make conversation as Dean pulls his shirt over his head and sits on the wooden bench that's placed in the middle of the aisle to lace up his cleats.

"You were a linebacker last year, right?" He says and Dean nods his response. "You're trying out for that position again?"

Dean shrugs and ties his shoes. "I don't know. Last year, Coach said I had QB potential, but I never really saw it."

Garth seems to assess him for a moment, making Dean squirm under the scrutiny, and is grateful when he looks away to put on his shirt. "Well, if you want to be a quarterback, you might as well try."

Minutes later, they're jogging out onto the open football field behind the school. It's nothing much; the sidelines are lined with bleachers, the white paint on the grass is fresh from the janitors redoing it over the summer, and overhead lights dot the corners to provide illumination during games at night. Dean oddly enough enjoys the smell of the grass and the dirt; he's always been a bit of a sports buff since that's one of the only things that he and his dad manages to connect on. The coach and student volunteers are already bringing out a netted bag full of balls and cones, preparing for the drills that will determine who has a spot on the team and who doesn't.

Off by the bleachers are cheerleading tryouts. Every year Lisa Braeden, who is coincidentally the cheerleading captain, holds tryouts for the squad on the same day as football does so as to assess how well their response to each other are. There are other teams in the school that the cheerleaders cheer for, and the squad is an entire PSAL sport on its own, but it's really the football team that it's important they connect with.

On the top of the bleachers, Dean can clearly spot Cas, sitting with headphones in their ears and staring into the distance. Remembering his and Charlie's conversation earlier, he almost expects there to be a Newport between their fore and middle fingers and he bites the inside of his cheek as he realizes that Charlie's words,  _Castiel may put up an impressive façade but they are not okay_ shook him up more than he'd like to admit.

Dean wonders what Cas is even _doing_ here; they don't seem occupied with anything, as they're just listening to music, but he doesn't question it further as the situation just gives the two of them an opportunity to possibly hang out afterward.

Coach Campbell has been a part of the school for a _very_ long time. When Dean's dad went to Lawrence High Samuel Campbell was a student here, playing on the team as a running back. He's garnered a lot of respect over the years, and for many students he's the best teacher. In addition to coaching football, he teaches health and physical education.

Maybe around fifty students show up for try-outs, so Coach starts everyone off long and hard: running suicides up and down the width of the grassy field. Ten minutes in, Dean's definitely tired but exhilarated, and jumps into the next couple of drills Coach has planned. Campbell stands off on the sidelines, making notes on his clipboard, and he finally lets all of the players take a short break after thirty minutes.

Surprisingly, Cas is waiting for Dean by the equipment, which had been placed on the same bleachers that they were sitting on top of before. Dean notices that they're wearing sunglasses to shield against the waning, yet bright, Kansas sun and are grinning and holding out a cold bottle of water, the sides dripping with condensation. Dean takes it gratefully and downs just about half of the bottle while Cas says, "Why didn't you tell me you were trying out today? I would definitely have come and been your mascot."

Dean laughs and caps the plastic bottle before holding it to his forehead in a futile attempt to cool himself down. "You're here now."

"Well,  _yeah._ Lisa wanted me to help out with the squad and I don't have to go to work for another hour." They shrug and accept the water bottle when Dean hands it back. Dean had actually forgotten that Castiel has a job- not many Lawrence teenagers do.

"One minute!" Coach shouts from the middle of the field.

"So," Dean begins with a knowing grin, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "Can I kiss you, or does my sweat gross you out?"

Cas chuckles and in response, they grab a hold of Dean's shirt and close the distance between them. Dean smiles against Cas' lips and lets out a disappointed grumble when they're gone.

"Call me tonight?" He asks, and the answer is obvious.

"Of course."

* * *

"Hey Jess," Dean greets as Jessica Moore climbs into the backseat of the Impala. He's gotten used to driving both Sam and his girlfriend home, something made easier by the fact that they all go to the same school now.

"Hello Dean," Jess replies, and pokes her head through the gap in between the driver and passenger seats to give Sam a kiss on the cheek. "Babe."

Dean rolls his eyes and turns up his car radio. He acts like their PDA bothers him and sure it does, to some extent, but in truth he's happy that his brother is happy. Jess is a nice girl; pretty, smart, and keeps Sam on his toes (which is a major feat because God, is that boy tall). She's good for him, and that's all Dean cares about.

"Where to?" He pulls the gear into reverse and backs out of the parking space. "Milkshakes or burgers or both?"

Sam and Jess exchange a look, communicating silently, and Sam speaks up. "Milkshakes."

"Perfect. Gives us the chance to go check out _El Cielo de Helado._ "

 _El Cielo de Helado_ is a sweets place on the border of Lawrence and Topeka that had opened over the summer. It literally translates from Spanish to _Ice Cream Heaven_ and has _tons_ of good reviews. However, Dean has never gotten the chance to actually visit. Until today.

It's a twenty-minute drive from Lawrence High and Dean's got to admit: the place is lovely. It's bricked out with brownstone and has a very minimalist, neighborhood-quality to it. There's already evidence of customers, as the parking lot is nearly full with both cars and teenagers lounging with rock music and cups of ice cream.

Once inside, the three of them join the long line, eyes staring up at the chalkboard menu to check out the choices.

Ten minutes later, they're at the cash register and are greeted by a man: longish-brown hair, translucent hazel eyes, and a wide smile that somehow seems to buzz with mischief.

"Hello there," he starts, leaning over the counter a bit. "Welcome to _El Cielo de Helado-_ I'm Gabriel, the proud owner of this place. What can I get for you?"

They ramble off their orders- a series of pistachio, mint chip, and cookies and cream milkshakes and after they pay (well, Dean pays because he had insisted on it), Gabriel disappears into the back of the shop.

"Does he look familiar to you?" Sam asks with a thoughtful frown, but Jess and Dean just shrug.

Gabriel doesn't come back with their shakes. Instead, a woman does. She's pretty, Dean can say that much, with shoulder-length black hair and bangs that nearly reach her bright blue eyes.

"Mint chip, pistachio, and cookies and cream milkshakes," she announces, sliding the tall plastic cups and several packaged straws over to them. She smiles politely and nods once. "Have a good one."

They each take their respective shakes and leave the store.

"You know what's weird?" Jess speaks up, adjusting her straw through the opening of the cup's transparent cap. "That girl looked a bit like Castiel Novak...that kid that's always hanging out with Lisa Braeden?"

Sam snorts disbelievingly when they reach the Impala. Dean opens the driver's door to sit down while Jess and Sam lean against the car. "Plenty of people have black hair and blue eyes."

Jess rolls her eyes. "It wasn't just _that._ Don't tell me you didn't see it. She could've been their fraternal doppelganger or something."

Sam turns to Dean and raises an eyebrow. "Dean- you know them better than we do. Does Cas have some sort of freaky Orphan Black thing going on?"

Dean laughs once, a short and exuberant _ha._ " _No._ " _  
_

Sam nods contently and looks back at Jess. "See?"

Jess is apparently confused for a moment, not knowing why Sam would turn to  _Dean_ for information on Castiel, but it doesn't take her long to silently piece together their relationship. Instead of commenting on it though, she takes a long sip from her milkshake and hugs one arm around her waist. "Well, I still think she looked a lot like him."

Dean clears his throat, and he and Sam exchange a look. " _Them_ ," he corrects, and Jess furrows her brow.

"What?"

"Pronouns," Sam interjects, trying to find the easiest way to explain the situation to his girlfriend. "Cas is...nonbinary. Which means instead of  _he_ and  _him_ or  _she_ and  _her,_ Cas prefers _they_ and  _them._ "

Jess is still clearly confused, but she still nods after Sam's done with his short explanation. "She looked a lot like  _them,_ then."

* * *

Castiel isn't at school the next day. Dean is confused, and maybe even a little upset, when they're not waiting for him in front of Mrs. Missouri's classroom, doesn't enter the room to sit in front of Dean before the bell ring, and doesn't show up for the rest of the period. He'd be fine with it, honestly, because any number of 'okay' things could've happened: for example, Cas could have just slept in late, or they could've just not wanted to come to school.

But they're _also_ not answering their phone, which makes Dean antsy.

"Stop being so weird," Benny instructs with an exaggerated roll of his eyes as he slings his arm over Andrea Kormos' shoulder. She leans into his chest as the four of them, Andrea, Benny, Charlie, and Dean, make their way up the stairs and to the cafeteria. "They're probably getting pancakes at IHOP or something. School isn't the  _most_ appealing place in the world."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." But Dean  _doesn't_ know and he itches his arm nervously at the lie.

Charlie pats his shoulder in an effort to comfort him a bit. "Look- we'll go over to their apartment after school. Okay? We'll bring donuts or something, they've probably just come down with a cold or something."

Dean is initially reluctant, finding that three periods are too long to wait, but sits it out anyway and is promptly awaiting Charlie's arrival in his Impala in the parking lot at 3:45.

"Eager, are you?" She opens the passenger's door and gets inside of the car. Dean is already playing one of his Pink Floyd records and tapping his fingers on the leather of the steering wheel to the beat. "I'm sure they're fine," she tries assuringly, patting his thigh lightly. Dean just gives her a blank look.

"Oh really? That's not what you had to say yesterday."

He puts the gear in reverse and backs out of the parking space as Charlie sighs heavily.

"Look, Dean, when I said that I didn't mean that they'd go and jump off of a bridge or something. They've been through a lot, okay? I just needed you to know that dating Cas isn't going to be like dating a free-spirited _cheerleader_ or something. They're emancipated, they're _transgender._ Life is rough and you're going to have to be a lot more than a pair of lips to kiss."

Dean rubs a hand over his face, deciding not to reply to that. But, the words sink in and stay with him as he pulls up to a nearby Krispy Kreme. They go in for a couple of minutes, ordering _way_ too many glazed donuts and just enough milkshakes for the three of them. 

Afterward, Dean drives them to where he remembers Cas' apartment to be. It's not that hard to remember, seeing as he's been over more times than he can count in the past couple of days or so. They both greet the doorman, who replies with a solitary nod in their direction, and take the elevator up to the fourth floor. Dean is at the far end of the hall before Charlie has the chance to catch up and his knuckles meet the wood of the door in hard, solid knocks. 

" _Coming_ ," comes a familiar mumble from the other side of the door and Dean steps back as Cas swings it open.

They look...well, _rough._  Their pale skin is even paler than usual, and is accentuated by dark bags that have carved themselves under Cas' eyes. Even _those_ are darker than usual, as their pupils are dilated beyond recognition. They're huddled in the duvet they keep folded on the couch and their hair is in a matted disarray.

"Jesus Christ," Dean mutters, and would go to envelope his...what was the word he'd used the day before?... _enbyfriend_ into his arms if he didn't have three boxes of donuts stacked high in his hands. Cas tries a smile, but it looks more like a wince than anything else.

"Hi guys."

"Are you okay Cas?" Charlie asks from behind, shifting the tray of milkshakes from one hand to the other. "You look sort of terrible."

"Oh...yeah, food poisoning." They step aside to let the two of them in and Dean paces to the kitchenette to drop the donuts. "Must've been something I a-"

Cas can't finish their sentence because Dean's caught them off guard, wrapping them tightly in a hug.

"Dean, I'm sick," Cas mumbles against his chest, but Dean doesn't let up.

"Food poisoning isn't air-borne. And I _really_ want to hug you."

He can feel Cas huff against his chest, but their arms slowly wrap around his waist so Dean figures that it's okay.

Once they finally unwrap themselves from each other, Charlie speaks. "So, you've just been here by yourself, with food poisoning?"

Cas shrugs and hugs the blanket tighter to their body. "I'm okay. I got your texts...but it's been sort of hard to, you know, _move._ Sorry _."_

Dean tries his best to keep his pitiful expression under lock and key. "Don't apologize," he instructs sternly. "But you should've called someone...called _me._ I would've gladly missed school if it meant that you'd have someone to fuss over you."

"That's not..." Cas' voice trails off and, suddenly, their body goes rigid and eyes grow wide. The duvet falls to the wooden floor as their hand flies to their mouth. "Excuse me."

They run off to the bathroom, and Charlie and Dean can clearly hear them retching into the toilet.

"Dean," Charlie mutters. "I feel sick."

Dean cards a hand through his hair and nods. "Yeah, I know. They've got to have, like, _family_ that actually cares or something."

"I'm their friend, sure, but Cas doesn't really talk about their family with me. You're closer to them than I am. Which is odd because I have certainly known them longer."

"Sorry about that." Cas reemerges from the bathroom and they look in worse shape than they were in before. They give the two of them a wry smile. "That's sort of been happening a lot."

Charlie reaches forward to give them a hug and pulls back after a moment. "I'll leave you guys to it, then. Hope you get better soon, hon."

"Thanks Charls."

Charlie grins, but there's hardly any life to it. She takes her milkshake from where she placed the tray on the counter, bids farewell to Dean, and leaves the apartment. Cas pads their way to the couch, slouching on the cushions and waiting for Dean to join them.

"Is it gross that I really want to kiss you right now?" He grins and sits on the sofa beside them. Cas lets their head fall to his shoulder and they sigh, deep and heavy.

"A little."

So Dean settles with a soft kiss placed on their nose, an oddly intimate gesture made warmer by his arm wrapping around them. "You shouldn't be here alone."

"I'm not," Cas replies. "And it's just food poisoning- the effects will subside in a few days."

"Yes, but..." Dean's hand finds its way into Cas' hair, where it plays with the soft, dark brown strands. "I just need you to know that you're not alone."

Castiel frowns a little and moves their head to look up at Dean. "Of course," they reply softly.

And suddenly they're kissing, lips moving languorously and warmly against each other. Cas tastes like spearmint toothpaste and the slight tang of mouthwash, and  _god,_ Dean loves it so much that he has to take a moment to work out what in the hell is wrong with him.

But the moment quickly passes and the embrace grows thicker and heavier. Somehow, they've gotten tangled up in each other, as Dean's body is draped nearly completely over Cas' and it's nearly discernible where his limbs end and theirs begin.

Dean's hands begin to wander, finding the position intimately familiar, and his fingers barely trail the bare skin of Cas' waist where their shirt has ridden up when Cas grows rigid beneath him breaks the kiss.

"Wait, stop." They say, red and breathless, and their hands come up to Dean's shoulders to gently push him off. "I...oh god."

Cas looks stressed and embarrassed, and is trying desperately hard to hide the now-dying erection in his pants that had just presented itself against Dean's hip.

Then Dean remembers.

"I'm _sick_ , and this usually doesn't..." Cas rambles on, squirming uncomfortably and looking anywhere but Dean's face. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner, but I'm..."Castiel's eyes finally find Dean's as they say, "I'm asexual. And god, I'm sorry that I haven't mentioned it before, and I'd completely understand if that's a deal breaker."

Dean can't respond because of the guilty, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He's just sitting there, tousled and wide-eyed because Cas has this miserable and culpable feeling scrawled across their face when Dean  _knew._ Of course Dean had known, Charlie had told him - warned him even, yet Dean had crossed the line. All he'd felt was Cas' dick straining hard and warm against his pants and no, Dean's never done it with a guy, but the first bells that had rung in his head were  _sex sex sex._

The notion that  _erection_ doesn't equal  _want -_ especially since Castiel is _ace_ \- hadn't even crossed his mind and Dean wants to throw up because of it. He's fucked up and made Cas feel like he's done an injustice.

"No, baby, it's okay," Dean replies quietly and reaches forward to lace their hands together. " _I_ should be the one apologizing. I already knew...Charlie told me and I went too far. I'm sorry, and I should probably go now, huh?"

Dean begins to recollect himself to raise from the sofa, but is anchored down by Cas' unrelenting hand and dulcet blue eyes that have decided to show themselves against shrinking black pupils. "Please stay," they plead softly and Dean has no choice but to reply,

"Okay."

* * *

They fall asleep against each other soon after, donuts and shakes long forgotten in the kitchen as the two of them had moved from the living room couch to the bedroom mattress. Dean had never really been in Cas' room before, and only has a moment to appreciate its warm, homely feel before his attention is brought back down by the endearing sound of Cas snoring lightly against his chest.

Dean awakens at six o'clock and feels a cool chill when he realizes that Cas is gone.

He checks his phone to see if he's got any text messages from his parents, and finding none, he decides that he's got an hour or two left before curfew. After he puts his phone way, his eyes drift to an open pair of doors that had previously existed unbeknownst to him and sees that they're open and leading to a small balcony (which half-explains the chill that he'd felt when he woke up. It's the beginning of October in Kansas, and the temperature likes to drop quickly).

Dean quickly shuffles off of the bed and as he approaches the doors, the stale scent of tar catches his senses and a glance outside confirms his suspicion: Cas is leaning against a metal banister with the filtered end of a cigarette to their mouth, inhaling deeply. Dean doesn't clear his throat until they have taken the drug out and blown the grey smoke into the cooling evening air.

Cas looks back with a slanted smile and stubs out the cigarette on the black metal balustrade. "I'm sorry, I try not to make it a habit."

"You should stop apologizing." Dean walks onto the balcony, even though his bare feet turn cool against the cold, smooth stone. He leans against the handrail and reaches forward and brush Cas' cheek with the pads of his fingertips. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Yeah, well." Cas laughs dryly, and Dean can still smell the cigarette smoke on their breath. "I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? My life is...unfairly complicated for a sixteen year old and for some reason you seem adamant on sharing the burden. To _way_ _too many_ people I'm just a pretty face, but that's not very satisfying."

Dean takes their hand in his again, a gesture that he's sure he'll never get tired of, and pulls them closer toward him. "Of course you're gorgeous," he begins and they really are...he can even see it beyond the incredibly pale tone that the food poisoning has given their skin and the sunken look their eyes have gotten. "But you are so much more. And I like you, Cas...I like you a lot."

Castiel grins then. "I like you a lot too."

"Good, that's good."

* * *

**Two Weeks Later**

Dean's gotten the position of linebacker on the football team as he'd expected and, after the first game  _and_ first victory for Lawrence High, he decides to take Castiel out for burgers and fries. The ride is thirty minutes, as the place is all the way across town, and is filled with the sounds of Queen's Innuendo record. At some point they had begun to hold hands, their intertwined fingers lying against Cas' thigh and Dean doesn't dare move it, deciding that he would gladly take on steering with his left hand only.

Once the Impala finally pulls up in front of The Roadhouse, Cas frowns a little and cocks their head to the side.

"Is this a...bar?" They ask cautiously, giving Dean a curious look, and Dean just grins back.

"Yeah, but my aunt owns it so she'll let us in for food."

They leave the car and after Dean locks the door, they gravitate back toward each other before reaching the curb. It's insane, Dean decides, that he's become to rely so heavily on the touch of Cas' skin against his but everything about them is intoxicating and that is in no way his fault. He loves that they use the same peppermint shampoo and vanilla body wash over and over again because the scent is just  _delicious_ and makes it impossible to keep his lips away. He loves their smile because they don't just smile with their mouth but their eyes too, and god do they have the most beautiful eyes Dean has ever seen. He's sinking into their relationship and he doesn't ever want to stop.

They pass through the threshold and because it's Saturday night, The Roadhouse is busier than usual. Dean keeps a firm grip on Cas hand and pulls them along to the bar where Ellen Harvelle is serving drinks behind the counter. She looks up as they approach.

"Hello Dean," she begins, and her gaze travels down to their conjoined hands. "And _friend._ I'm guessing this is Cas?"

"Yes ma'am." Cas smiles politely as the two of them climb onto bar stools.

Ellen raises an eyebrow. "Oh hon, ma'am is much too formal. Call me Ellen. I think you know my daughter Jo?"

Castiel's eyes light up in immediate recognition. "Oh yeah, Jo Harvelle. We volunteer at local animal shelters sometimes on the weekends."

Ellen grins at that revelation and turns the conversation to Dean. "How's Mary doing? Last time I heard, she's finally gotten her PhD in neuropsychology. That girl's always been smarter than the rest of us."

Dean chuckles. Every few years or so, his mother likes to go back to college to earn another degree in another field. A few years ago, when she'd earned her masters in psychology, she had announced to the family that instead of _just_ being a psychologist, she'd taken on neuropsychology. Of course, Dean didn't and still doesn't know the difference, but he's happy that she's still doing what she loves. "She's doing fine," he replies. "Apparently, she has enough qualification to open up her own therapy center."

They all chat for a little while longer before Ellen finally disappears into the back to prepare platters of burgers and fries.

"She's lovely," Cas comments fondly, their eyes scanning The Roadhouse with wide curiosity. Dean nods and sits back in the stool.

"I've known Ellen my entire life. It's sort of customary to call her 'Aunt' although there's no real blood-relation. Sort of like what my Uncle Bobby says- _Family don't end with blood_."

"Castiel?"

Cas had been listening with focused attention up until their name is called from behind and they turn in their seats.

Dean recognizes the girl immediately; the shoulder-length dark brown hair that is currently put up in a ponytail, sans bangs that cover most of her forehead. Her blue eyes haven't even registered Dean's existence yet, as they're carefully trained on Cas'. It's the girl from _El Cielo de Helado_  two weeks ago that Jess swears looks like Cas.

Dean hadn't seen it before, but now the resemblance is impossible to ignore. They look as if they'd been cut from the same cloth, that if Cas identified explicitly as a girl, she would be it.

" _Hannah_ ," Cas breathes and blinks as if they can't believe she's really there. "What are you...you're supposed to be in New York."

She- _Hannah_ -smiles and once again, it takes Dean aback at how similar it is to Castiel's own grin. "Naomi and I have been in Lawrence for a couple of weeks, but I had no idea how to get in contact with you. We _just_ heard about your emancipation- God, Cas, if we knew that Dad is such a bigoted piece of shit, we would've never left you here with him and his _arm candy_."

"It's not your fault," they assure her, putting a kind hand on her forearm. Castiel turns to Dean then. "Dean, this is Hannah...she's my sister. _Twin_ sister, to be exact."

Dean's eyebrows shoot up. "I didn't know that you have a twin sister."

"We didn't grow up together," Hannah explains. "Our parents couldn't handle raising _two_ more kids, so our sister Naomi, she was twenty three at the time, raised me in New York. We saw each other on holidays, and saw more of each other when...uh..."

"Our Dad got arrested," Castiel finishes lightly and glances at Dean. "I told you about it: my sister Naomi, taking charge while Dad was in prison."

Dean remembers; of  _course_ Dean remembers their conversation on the night of Homecoming. He doesn't like to think about it much though because he likes to play under the façade that Castiel doesn't have a path spotted with such bad fortune. Not Cas, not  _his_ Cas.

Ellen returns from the back of the bar with two plates of food. After resting them in front of Dean and Castiel, she glances over at Hannah with a smile. "Oh, hello there. Do you want something to eat too?"

Hannah shakes her head a gives Ellen a kind smile. "Oh, no thank you. I'm not staying for long."

"Okay hon." Ellen slides over two Cokes before moving on to her next customer down the bar.

"What school have you been going to?" Cas asks her, chewing a fry. "I haven't seen you around Lawrence High."

"We haven't officially been living in Lawrence. Naomi has a couple of friends in Topeka, so we've been staying with them. She didn't know what to do...what  _you want_ do."

Dean furrows his brow and puts down his already half-eaten burger. "What does _that_ mean?"

Hannah looks at him. "When we found out that Castiel emancipated themselves from the family, we didn't understand why they didn't just come and talk with us beforehand. We would've more than happily let them into our home- we're all siblings. We try to take care of each other. So..." She looks back at Cas. "Naomi wants to know if you'd like to come back to New York with us. She would help financially support you, ensure your only focus at the moment is high school and future colleges."

Dean gets a tight, heavy feeling in his chest.  _That_ is one hell of a deal and he doesn't know how Cas could pass it up. But he doesn't want Castiel to leave and go all the way to New York. 

" _Hannah_ ," Cas begins, a sorrowful look splattering across their features as they glance at Dean. "I..."

"Yes," Hannah cuts off, and her smile widens. "We thought you wouldn't necessarily like that idea. Even from a child you weren't one for big cities. Naomi argues that it's tons easier living as a member of the LGBT community in New York City, a lot of people are more accepting up North. But even if that doesn't sway you, she's-  _we're_ prepared to move to Lawrence full-time. With the same benefits as if you'd move to New York: financial support, your  _sisters_." She nudges Cas' shoulder with her own and they grin at each other. "But only if you're comfortable with it of course."

"Comfortable?" Cas looks jubilant and happier than Dean's ever actually seen them. "That is...extremely good news Hannah, I would love that."

"That's great to hear." Hannah smiles with complete endearment and touches Cas' hand with her own. "I'm afraid I have to start my drive back to Topeka now...I'll definitely tell Naomi and set up a time we can all meet. Wait-"

She reaches across the counter and takes a pen from a cup sitting on the bar top. Across the napkin that Ellen had supplied with the meal, she writes what Dean presumes to be her phone number. "Call me. I've missed you Castiel."

Cas nods and they bid their dues before she leaves The Roadhouse.

* * *

 

"I'm sorry that our date was sort of overturned by my sister's arrival," Cas apologizes as the two of them walk down the hallway of the fourth floor of Cas' apartment building. "It was unexpected."

They take their keys out of their jacket pocket and move to unlock the door.

"Cas, don't do that," Dean says softly, causing Cas to turn around in confusion as they enter the apartment.

"Do what?

"Don't..."Dean sighs and rubs his hand over his mouth, not really knowing how to phrase his comment. "Don't apologize for being _happy_. God knows that it's been a long time coming." He steps closer and rubs his hands along the lengths of their arms. "I need you to know that you are not alone. That you are  _loved._ "

He hears Cas' breathing shift there's a sharp intake of breath. "Dean..." they mutter, and there's obviously no more to say after it, so Dean suddenly takes their hands in his and press them to his chest.

"Do you feel that?"

Cas looks up at him, blue eyes impossibly wide, and they nod. "Yes."

"This is what you do to me baby," Dean says lowly. "My heart can't slow down whenever I'm near you."

Castiel reaches up and traces Dean's bottom lip with their thumb before leaning in and brushing their lips against his. They're a little dry, but soft, and Dean feels like he can kiss them forever.

"You are so amazing," Cas mumbles, pressing their foreheads together. "Why are you so amazing?"

Dean grins, prepared with a witty answer, but it doesn't exactly come out as suddenly Cas' nimble fingers are playing with the waistband of his jeans.

"What are you doing?" Dean asks slowly, struggling to control his breathing. Cas looks up at him and  _god,_ those eyes are so fucking intoxicating.

" _Shh_ , let me," Cas sighs and moves forward to kiss Dean again, pushing the two of them against the wall between the front door and the archway leading to the kitchen. Cas tugs at Dean's leather belt teasingly, causing Dean to pull away and look at them with hesitant eyes.

"You don't have to do this," he says softly, pushing a hand through their tangled mess of hair. "I know that this isn't exactly, you know, the most appealing thing to you."

Castiel just smiles. "Not me. You."

Without warning, they're kneeling in front of Dean and working his brass belt buckle. It doesn't take very long for it to come undone and Cas has his jeans pushed down to a pool around his ankles in a mere second. Dean feels like he could pass out from just the sight of Cas rubbing up his thighs before slipping their forefinger under the elastic waistband of his blue boxers.

" _Jesus Christ, Cas_ ," Dean manages to get out as his boxers slip down to join his jeans on the floor and Cas places soft, delicate kisses on the insides of his upper thighs. His hands find their way back to their hair and gently caress the dark locks. Cas stares up at Dean through thick eyelashes and doesn't look away as they take his dick in their fist, pumping slowly before licking up its underside. Dean groans, a strangled, broken sound, and his hand tightens its grip in Cas' hair.

Castiel takes the head in their mouth first, swirling their tongue around the sensitive skin before taking the plunge and pushing deeper. Dean's head falls back against the blue plaster and his eyes flutter shut. He doesn't even realize that his hips have pushed forward in the instinctive motion for  _more_ until Cas moves one of their hands up to still his waist.

Dean is going to come embarrassingly quickly at this rate. For some reason Cas gives a blowjob like a fucking porn star, alternating between using their fist to pump the base of his cock and taking the entire thing down their throat before gagging and letting up. Dean shudders as Cas moans softly, sending a shiver that vibrates up his spine and causes his breathing to quicken. "Cas, I'm going to..." he begins but it's impossible to finish. Castiel rises, never taking their hand from his dick, and grants a kiss that Dean gladly accepts. He moans into their mouth as Cas coaxes him through, pumping their fist up and down their length while muttering against his lips.

_"It's okay baby, I've got you. Come for me, baby, it's okay."_

Dean comes in thick, hot spurts and he knows he's made a mess but neither of them seem to care in that moment. The two of them kiss slowly and languidly, letting their open lips slide against each other as Cas tucks him back into his jeans. Once they finally pulls back Dean can see that they're basically glowing red. And he knows that he probably shouldn't find that impossibly endearing, but he does.

"I hope that was okay."

" _Okay_?" Dean repeats, accompanied with a dry, disbelieving chuckle. "That was unbelievable.  _You're_ unbelievable."

Cas blushes again and Dean presses a kiss to their forehead before enveloping them in his arms.

And he doesn't plan on ever letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt ever at what can be described as, like, half-smut. I really enjoyed writing this piece as a whole and I wasn't going to add the blowjob at the end because I had deemed Castiel asexual. But I know that, as an ace myself, I have a problem with more receiving than giving (which you saw with Dean and Cas at some point during the fic) and that's a common trend throughout the asexual community.
> 
> But I don't know, I'm sort of proud of this. It is four in the morning and I feel like passing out so I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> xx


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